03 Apr Forgiveness is an important skill in personal and business growth
As soon as you realize that your personal growth is a direct contributor to your business growth, it becomes easier to endure the process of change. This growth will not only make you a better person but an impactful leader.
One of the biggest lessons for me was forgiveness.
Growing up poor and unsupported, I carried a lot of hate in me – it fueled me, and with every hater and non-believer, I thrived on proving the world wrong. I didn’t know how unhealthy this was. I blamed my past, my teachers, my parents and more. I was the underdog in my fight – always.
I was always very binary. I either forgave, or I didn’t. There wasn’t a middle ground, and that made it harder for me to find a balance. When my father died in 2011, I lost my last villain in life. Almost immediately, the anger died along with him, and the void was new to me. I struggled to understand my emotions, and with time, I realized that the vacuum was there because I hadn’t forgiven him.
There are three types of forgiveness (Jay Shetty breaks it down in his new book THINK LIKE A MONK)
I was living in the ‘conditional’ mode. I will forgive ONCE the other person does or says something. How many of us are stuck at this level? We are waiting for the other person to release us from our anger; it will never happen – you can’t leave it up to the other person to heal you. They have no clue you are waiting!
Transformational is when you forgive to heal yourself – regardless of how you feel about the other person. You can still resent, ‘hate,’ or stay out of their life, but you forgive yourself – you release the burden from yourself. For all the non-believers, the people who turned you away, for the people who shut the door on you – you get to release yourself from them.
This is the process I had to go through, and coming out of it, I felt an enormous sense of relief and happiness. The growth we had seen in my agency Blueband Digital from 2006 to 2011 was nothing compared to the change we had, post my transformation. I was operating from a new place – one of optimism and hope.
The third level, ‘unconditional’ is something I feel only with my kids. Nothing they do can be wrong. I forgive instantly. It is the purest of mindset, and very few people can get to this place in life. I hope to one day.
When you start to unlearn habits and limiting mindset, you create new patterns and empower yourself. You design the future ‘you’ with care and purpose.
Many of us taking on the risks to start a business are all playing our role in helping others. To make the world a better place and sacrifice a lot – so, however big or small your role is, learning to forgive is one of the most important personal growth you will ever experience.